Divergence

Decision making. It could have been down right simple. It could have been as complicated as solving some complex Math question. People always say it's good to have options, to have choices. But at some point, you just wish that there aren't any but one. Just one. Accept and deal with it. That's exactly how i felt a couple of days ago. I guess you can say that I'm just trying to avoid something I find difficult to do. But really, why want things hard when they can be easy?

Anyway, this significant entry is regarding my decision to turn down a full scholarship. Many people wouldn't have agreed with this decision. But I've thought through it, made my stand and will stick to it.

Note to self:
If you're reading this in a couple of years from now, know that at this point of time when the decision was being made, it wasn't easy. I don't think it is necessary to list out the reasons as to why this is the path I chose, because I'm pretty sure you'll still remember. What I think you'll forget is how I feel right now. Doubtful. Honestly, I'm not 100% convinced with this myself. There are still many uncertainties. Still plenty of risk to know if this decision is right. Fearful. I may have thought about this long and hard enough but that doesn't guarantee that I'm right. Hopeful. Trying to be as optimistic as possible, hoping to see myself with a pleasant future ahead of me.

In say 10 years from now, you're one contented woman living with no regrets then yay us! If you're unhappy and disappointed with this decision, then I'm sorry that once upon a time, the 18 year old you made the wrong choice. But remember, always make the best out of what you have at this moment.

I guess only time will tell.